Letter from the President

Prof. Evans Fiifi Atta Mills

Office of the President

Osu- Accra

28-08-09

To: Mr Courage Senanu Agboado

Akatsi

Dear Courage,

I have painstakingly taken time out of my seemingly busy schedules to respond to your letter and a few other concerns you have raised over the past few weeks. Truth is I am not really as busy as it may appear to you and many Ghanaians. I have only preoccupied myself with trying to fix the damage that my balls incurred when I hit the ground. If you watch closely, I did hit the ground but not running as I had promised in the presidential electioneering campaigns.

In addition, I have also been trying hard to deal with that former boss of mine who incidentally comes from your region, and the numerous mistake-of-ministers that have been heaped on me by the powers-that-be; pulling the strings from all ends. Honestly, most of the people I have to contend with as ministers of state, have been appointed for me, not by me. I know this would sound ridiculous to you but it’s the unfortunate truth. When I promised change, indeed, I meant it. I never had in mind, anything to do with the old ghosts that haunted Ghana under the leadership of my former boss. For instance, I wouldn’t have had anything to do with the likes of Tony Aidoo, Gbevlo-Lartey, Asaasee Gyima, Benjamin Kumbour and co. Please, promise you are going to keep this letter very confidentially in your grandma’s kevi at Anyako. If it leaks to facebook, you know what that could imply for me.

I am a firm believer in the policy of lean government. But I had realized too late that there were so many boot-lickers, hangers-on and veranda boys who must also ‘chop some’. So upon advice and directives of the stage managers, the likes of Korku Anyidoho, Mahama Ayariga and Zita have been put in office to do one and same job for me. No wonder Zita for example had to be given two deputies. Remember Kufuor did same things and my sons Fiifi Kwetey and Sammy Okudjeto, criticized him without mincing words. But here I am, having to do the same old things.

Now, to your substantive question as to whether or not Ghanaians are safe under the umbrella, Courage, let me be sincere with you; that is an illusion. It is a mirage. I truly wished the reverse were the case. The umbrella is so perforated that it would only take a little drizzling for you to see what I mean. So I can’t promise any safety. Each Ghanaian must therefore fight their own salvation with fear and trembling. As for those ministers who have been sleeping since assumption of office and those who have been buying kyikyinga for their girl friends on the nation’s back-pocket, they are only hastening the process of our demise from power in the next elections. The other day, I sent a text message to Bishop TB Joshua asking him to declare some days of fasting and prayer for me and my ministers. I have not yet heard from him. I guess the message is still in cyber limbo. You know what I mean? I am so desperate now. Even now as I write, my former boss is on the phone. Let me pause and answer that call. I shall get back to you later. But until then, I’m working on my damaged balls. Once I’m done, I will see what I can do about the problems that confront us. Don’t expect any concrete solutions before 2012 though. Maybe a few more committees, yes.

Do extend my regards to the other maverick friend of yours in the cold. What is his name again? Wornyalo or Nyaworlo or whatever his name is.

Your worried President,

Prof., J.E.A Mills.

NB: Lest I forget, regarding the killings in Bawku, Dagbon etc, my former boss is still holding the information on the perpetrators close to his chest. As soon as he releases that, I shall, as usual, put together a committee to look into it, then we will see what happens next. For now, I am putting together a committee to raise funds to purchase chemical lie detectors for his interrogation. The other day, I sent an emissary to the antoa-nyama shrine. They are yet to submit their report. So you see, I have been doing something. Keep your fingers crossed.